I thought I'd kick off this blog with a little rant. I'm in a rant-y mood, ever since Heroes S3 started to swirl the drain (right from the opener). I wrote a piece about my dissatisfaction with Heroes which you can read here: Super Awesome or Super Lame? The Superheroines of Heroes.
I thought the title was pretty cool. But moving on to this horror related rant.
I love reading geek magazines. Besides covering the things I care about all the time (Entertainment Weekly, I HATE Grey's Anatomy. HATE IT) the tone of the articles is always upbeat and enthusiastic, like the writers are truly obsessed with covering that movie/book/TV show. And because of this, the creators they are interviewing swell with pride at the total "you're stuff is sooo boss" attitude of the writers and talk enthusiastically about their show/book/movie.
And all that enthusiasm makes me excited. Like I'll read an article in Sci-Fi for a movie I don't particularly care for, and then once I'm done reading the article my dubious opinion has changed into "Wow! I'm stoked for that movie/TV show/book so bad now!" attitude.
However, I've come the realization that despite all the enthusiasm and hero-worshipping, the stuff Sci-Fi Magazine covers is not always as cool as it sounds. Case in point, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (SCC). The show, which started out okay but has since spiraled into the really fucking bad category, is still praised in Sci-Fi like it's something original (no) and amazing (again, no).
The worst part however, is reading the quotes given by the creator of SCC--it's like he's living in a dream world, where his show is the most complex, original thing out there. Creator Josh Friedman says: "I think we might be the most complex show on television. There are shows that feel more complicated, if you look at Lost or Heroes or things like that. But they don't actually have the amount of action that we have. Even 24 doesn't have the amount of action that we have."
Okay, dude. You need to quit while your ahead, because you obviously don't watch the own show you make. Like...where's all this action you speak of? And complex? Complex plotholes, maybe. YOU ARE RUINING ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILM SERIES. (I don't count T3, that was awful.)
But this article isn't about SCC (well, not solely about SCC anyway). I just referenced that snippet to prove a point about Sci-Fi's enthusiasm and me starting to feel dubious about it.
So I thought I could escape the insanity of the SCC creator by you know, turning the page. And for a while there, it worked. There were pictures of John Barrowman and Nathan Fillion (sadly not together and naked). There was a huge article on Twilight (yes I love Twilight...I'll defend myself in a later blog) and then there was a spread on a horror movie coming out this month called The Haunting of Molly Hartley. Oooh, new horror movie! I thought. Always cool!
Unfortunately, the director of said film, Mickey Liddell, had to ruin all my hopes by opening his mouth: "I was tired of all those Saws and Captivities. I don't even go see them anymore. I saw the first few, but after a while I was so tired of them. I really loved all those horror movies in the 70's like The Exorcist and The Omen. They had a story that really scared you. You left just terrified to go home. I love that feeling, and just being tortured with blood and guts didn't do it for me."
The article then proceeds to talk about how Liddell is trying to "reclaim" the horror genre back from those dreaded "torture porn" films that just show guts and gore.
"Everybody wants screams and blood and a scare every five seconds. We had to work so hard against everyone because it's what the genre has turned into now. But how many times can you see blood or can someone be put in peril? That doesn't scare me. What scares me more is going down the street and feeling lonely and out of everything."
Well. My interest in the movie has dropped.
It astounds me that Mr. Liddell, in drumming up interest for his horror film, has to bash the slasher gory awesomeness of other horror films. He says "that's what the genre is now." I hate to break it to you Mr. Liddell, but the genre has been like that for a long time, long enough to encompass an important part of horror cinema canon.
Where were you, Mr. Lidell, during the entirety of the 80's?
Oh, that's right, probably re-watching The Exorcist and The Omen which you name checked to draw similarities between those movies and yours. And I'm not denying the similarities; your movie is a devil movie just like those movies.
I have to say though, I'm not a girl that believes in a Judeo-Christian God as defined by Congress, so the concept of those movies does ABSOLUTE SHIT for me. I appreciate them, yes, but because of my own personal beliefs I do not leave "terrified to go home." Instead, I'm terrified by the knowledge that people are terrified by those movies (for religious reasons. If you're terrified cause it's spooky, well then you're a better person than I).
I don't want to all and all call Mr. Liddell a douchenozzle for saying what he said. I'm not that mean, not even in the blogger world, where one can be mean. On one hand, I understand where he's coming from, I really do. But on the other hand, knocking gory slashers? Nuh-uh. You can't claim to be all about horror when you fucking do that. Saw and Captivity are not the end all of modern horror. Have you even seen Hostel, Mr. Liddell? Or how about Slither? Your lazy insults of a gory sub-genre of your supposed genre just show how uninformed you are about horror movies.
I suppose I shouldn't say all this without seeing the film. But Mr. Liddell doesn't really make me wanna drop everything to see this movie. Instead I'd rather call him a douchenozzle (I love using that word...that I totally stole from Sarah Silverman.) But still, there is the chance that perhaps the movie is good, despite what Liddell has said. So I sought out the trailer.
Umm...for serious? This is your epic horror film that supposed to hearken back to the good ol' days of horror?
It looks like evil Lizzie McGuire, to me Mr. Liddell.
And I own the Lizzie McGuire movie. And prop blood. And I think if I throw the prop blood on the screen I can create a movie close enough to yours.
Basically, you should NOT have insulted those horror films, Mr. Liddell, cause I love them and I might have seen your movie if you hadn't done that.
What can I say. I'm a gore loving girl, that feels totally insulted by your lack of intelligence concerning horror films.
So my seven bucks are staying mine.

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